averagematt

this thing is embarrassing

i've gone back and deleted the posts i didn't like, the ones which were too raw, the ones which reminded me of what a douchebag i was and am

almost like editing my history

dunno

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEcz9T3MuL4

oh kramer

my name is Live Journal and i bought a horse
i let it run loose in the local golf course
the motherfuckin owner came round and complained
I THREW HIM THROUGH MY WINDOW PANE
SOOOO
i called the horse back and his face was bloody
i took him to the glue factory and said "hey buddy"
my horsey here see, his face is all fuck
he said "don't worry about it buck"
he pulled up a vat of some bubbling goo
he said "i love the smell of this shit, don't you?"
i didn't really like it but this guy looked pretty mean
so i said "sure fella, it's a motherfucken dream"
he got in a forklift and forklifted my horsey
he put the radio on and played some fucken morrissey
i said "hey man this shit is depressin"
he said "this is my show bub" and started stressing!
i chilled the guy out and gave him a dime
and then i threw another line in to rhyme
my horse looked sad as he went up in the air
but to be very honest i didn't really care
horses for courses, you know how it is
"que sara sara" as we say in the biz
the forklift moved up over the vat
my horse started talkin can you believe that
he said "LJ don't do this to me"
i said "sorry man, gotta let it be!"
the horse fell in and made a terrible cry
all i could do was look at the guy
and in that moment i felt crazy remorse
was this the right thing to do to my horse?
we both looked down and reflected on the moment
i felt bad but the other guy didn't
we parted ways without saying a word
but then in the distance, i suddenly heard
"neigh neigh neigh whats up yo"
my horse was alive! but how was this so??
"that vat wasnt glue it was just chocolate
it's my favourite so i just ate my way out of it"
i was so relieved to see him, i just cried "sorry"
he said "brother dont you worry
you have learned a lesson, one you won't forget"
and i said "yeah no doubt about it"
so my name's Live Journal and this is my horse
we're best friends now through better or worse

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

http://revolution.nintendo.com/

nintendo are calling their new console "wii", as in "we", as in everyone will hold hands and sing when they see it

fucking retarded

My name is ass and i am a bass

a sea bass, that is!



^ me

001 - BULBASAUR

Fill my body with soda pop! Soda pop! Soda pop!
Fill my body with soda pop! Soda pop! Soda pop!
Any flavor that you want! Soda pop! Soda pop!
Strawberry, cranberry, lemon too! I don't care! This is what you should do
Fill my body with soda pop!
Fill my body with soda pop!
Fill my body...
Fill my body with soda pop!
Fill my body with soda pop!
Fill my body with soda pop!
Fill my body with soda pop!
Strawberry, cranberry, lemon too!
Fill my body with soda pop, soda pop, soda pop soda pop!
Soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop!
Fill my body with soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop!
Strawberry, cranberry, lemon too!
Soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop!
Carbonate my soul!
Carbonate my soul!
Carbonate my soul!
Carbonate my soul!
Won't you carbonate my soul?
Carbonate my soul!
Carbonate my soul!
One, two, three, FOUR!
Fill my body with soda pop! Soda pop! Soda pop!
Fill my body with soda pop! Soda pop! Soda pop!
Fill my body! With soda pop!
Soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop soda pop
Fill my body!
Carbonate my soul!
Fill my body!
Carbonate! Carbonate my soul!
Fill my bottle!
Fill my body up now!
Soda pop right now!
Fill my body with soda pop! Soda pop! Soda pop!
Fill it!
Fill it with soda pop! Carbonate my soul!

live journal is GAY

this book is about live journal

actually being ill sux. all these days of bunking off have come back to me and punched me in my precious well toned stomach

i hope i recover 4 italy lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!

watch my head inflate and go pop






pop

You Are Low Rise Jeans

You are both sexy and casual - the type of girl who looks hot without really trying. You tend to spark imagination, only showing a peek of your skin.

What Style of Jeans Are You? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

You scored as Butt. You are attracted to: the ass! your an ass man/woman. </td> Butt 92% Penis 75% Abs/Stomach 75% Face 67% Boobs 58% What Body Part Are You Attracted To?(pics) created with QuizFarm.com

Your Nail Polish Color is Magenta

How you're unique: You're confident - and you show everyone the true you Why your style rocks: You have the attitude to carry the most outrageous outfits off What this color says about you: "Look at me. I know you want to!"

What Color Nail Polish Best Fits You? Take This Quiz :-)
Find the Love of Your Life (and More Love Quizzes) at Your New Romance.

Your Kissing Purity Score: 26% Pure

You're not one to kiss and tell... But word is, you kiss pretty well.

Your Outrageous Name Is

Neal Downe

You are Tsukino Usagi

You are love food, boys, shopping, and hanging out with your friends. You tend to cry when things get too hard, and have trouble doing things right the first time. You probably need to study a little harder. Your faith in the basic goodness of all people keeps you on the right track, even when others don't see it.

Take the "What Magic Girl are you?" Quiz


INCREDIBLY GHETTO--OMFG, do you move at all? You're
probably the type of person who orders pizza 5
nights a week, rather than cook or do any
dishes. I'm guessing you also live in mountains
of chaos and disorganization. You also don't
really care much for social norms. I bow to the
Master of Ghetto.


How Ghetto Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla


your hot_ i think your hot if your personality is
as nice as everything else we could get along
my you should cht to me some time


do i think your hot?(girls only , dont lie)
brought to you by Quizilla

Am I cool or uncool? [CLICK] You are Cool! You're pretty cool! People look at you and think.. 'wow.. that person is cool!' Congratulations. Use your position wisely and teach the dorks below you a thing or two. There's nothing like recruiting a cool person. Cool quizzes at Go-Quiz.com

A	Ambitious
V	Virtuous
E	Excellent
R	Revolutionary
A	Awesome
G	Gentle
E	Easy
M	Modern
A	Altruistic
T	Tasty
T	Talented

Name / Username:

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

GUH

On Saturday morning i slept for two hours on a field with a duvet

I was really quite cold

But I got to take the duvet home

So it's OK

I also raped a jew!

I just came across this in Urban Dictionary.


ANDREA GOLIA WANGSANATA:

(n): The girl who you will always love. The girl who you will always be there for. The coolest person on the Earth. The princess of the world.

1) I can't live without my ANDREA GOLIA WANGSANATA.

2) I love ANDREA GOLIA WANGSANATA.

3) I think about ANDREA GOLIA WANGSANATA on two occasions; that's day and night.



Not only is it agonisingly cheesy, but this girl has a really funny name. And I like how this person capitalises her entire name everytime he writes it. It made me laugh.

:):):):):):):)

My birthday came and left. A dog barked at me in April and I thought it was going to kiss me so I told everyone and they shooed it away for me. I walked down the same road a few times, and it got more boring every time.

The other day I kissed my hand and pretended it was a girl. I made my first finger and thumb a pair of lips and frenched til I was blue in the face.

UUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Hi there. Today I did not get on a bus even though I have a bus pass. I am so weird. Only I could think of something weird like that. I am so crazy.

Yesterday was Monday, some people say it is the first day of the week. I agree with them.

I had a bag of crisps in my lunch bag which I did not like so I threw them away. But my friend Chris ate them. He is a mad guy. Only I have mad friends like Chris.

I had a dream last night.

Bye

Hi everyone. I hurt myself today. I am going to tell you how. Right now.

I laid down for a while upstairs and then decided to go downstairs. I got up and felt lightheaded right before I touched the first step, so I leaned to the side to relax. I then passed out and fell down the stairs. I bruised myself a lot and I smashed a lamp at the bottom of the stairs. I also savagely bit my tongue. I was unconcsious for approximately 30 minutes, and then I came to. I did not know what day it was or where I was or who I was. I had what is called momentary amnesia. My mother took me to the hospital and after waiting for a long period of time I discovered my blood pressure and sugar level were normal. The doctor told me I was fine, but I should see a neurologist just in case. So this is what I will do.

I normally enjoy feeling lightheaded but I did not today.

Goodbye